Oh yeah & ermergherrrdddd I learnt to SUP 😀
So this year is the first year I took part in the CrossFit Open.
I started CrossFit a long time ago because I was fully aware of all of the weaknesses in my body & wanted to make them stronger for Roller Derby. I immediately loved it & was in the box working out 4-5 times a week, it was addictive because I could see & feel the changes that were taking place.
Fast forward I guess 3 or 4 years & a lot of stuff had changed. First I lived in a place where my nearest box was almost an hour away boooo 😦 Then a box opened in my village yayyyyyy 🙂 Followed by the news a month or so later that I was to be be made redundant, thus making CrossFit a luxury I couldn’t afford. It was a tough year generally with one thing & another culminating in my return home to Leicester & making it into the box there maybe once a week on a good week, but honestly I kinda lost my way. I will call it life limbo. I was in life limbo trying to find a job, working on my own little business, wondering what would happen next & CrossFit just didn’t really fit with that picture, all my time was spent on these other projects.
Then completely out of the blue I was offered a job in Vietnam, relocated to HCMC (Saigon) joined a box there & started to very gradually get back into CrossFit. Obviously the bunch of people there are massively enthusiastic & supportive so when they started to talk about the Open it didn’t take too much to convince me to take part. I mean why not? Well I am not sure exactly what has happened to me since I have been here because actually the cons far outweigh the pros, maybe it was a moment of weakness, the promise of success, achievement – I have no idea, but I said yes, paid my $10 & my only goal was to complete 1 WOD RX.
Let me set the scene a little bit. My job here is full on. I love it, but there are elements that are extremely demanding that are completely out of my control, & because of this I am often in at work very early, out of work very late, working weekends etc. So I am often (mostly) very tired. In addition I have a steady stream of visitors – which is lovely, & my visitors have all been completely and utterly perfect, but it is tiring. So in case you didn’t get that & to summarise I am always tired & I often can’t make the gym/box.
In addition I knew full well I was not at my physical peak, it would be a miracle if I could do any of them RX & as soon as I had signed up I started to regret it. I wanted to be able to commit enough time to feel like I gave it my best shot, & knew in my heart of hearts I wouldn’t be able to. Frustrated before I even set off.
So anyway the WOD’s were of course horrific. I RX’d all of them except 1 which I had to scale – the 3rd I think. I did well in the first one, in the 2nd I ripped my hands so badly on the first round that I spent the entire rest of the time cap trying desperately to get in some more toes to bar with everyone running around finding tape, lending me their gloves, & just generally being amazing about my abysmal failure whilst I bled all over the place. 3rd one was average.
4th one I knew I would do ok as it was deadlifts, I like deadlifts, 70kg for someone that is sub 60kg is a heavy weight yeah? But did I mention I like deadlifts… This was my strongest WOD. Then came the final one & as soon as I saw it I knew. The time cap was 40minutes & I knew it was going to take me that 40minutes if I was to do it RX. Thrusters & double unders. My double unders are probably what enabled me to finish it as they are very fast. The thrusters at 30kg were absolutely hideous. I picked the bar up for the first round & braced myself for the 40 minutes.
Yep. 39:48 they all stayed and cheered me on & screamed at me right until the bitter end. I wanted to give up, & I wanted them to stop shouting as I couldn’t concentrate, but I know full well if they hadn’t had been there, I would have put the bar down on round 6 & gone home.
Here we are all finished.
I have to admit I was thrilled about getting one done RX, I never imagined I could have done that & perhaps without the camaraderie I wouldn’t.
It made me go away & think about a lot of stuff. Why didn’t I care more? Why didn’t I want to beat other people? It really made me think about why I was going & what I was trying to get out of it now there is no roller derby.
There is something about CrossFit that instils a gritty determination in everyone & their pears that I haven’t come across in anything else I have done. It doesn’t matter who you are once you are in the zone you are in the zone, it’s kind of raw I guess, you see people at their absolute best & absolute worst & no-one cares because you are all in it together. I think that’s another reason I fell so in love with it. It’s not about beating other people, or being better than them. It’s about doing & being the best that you can & encouraging others to do & find the same in themselves. It’s something that I struggled with sometimes in Roller Derby because peoples expectations often far exceeded their commitment. It’s so simple – you get back what you put in. Ok sometimes it’s not instantaneous, it doesn’t happen overnight, but I have seen it. I have seen it time & time again, the ones with the commitment & the dedication, they get good, no matter what, because they wont stop until they have got to where they want to be. I applaud that, & I applaud the people that have this pragmatic dedicated approach that they will get there because they are putting in the effort.
I guess that’s why I didn’t care so much about the Open. I didn’t deserve to do well & I knew I didn’t. I was just going through the motions as I had signed up. I am not sure if I will ever care enough to be exceptional, & that is not a bad thing or a shocking thing, it’s an honest thing. I think CrossFit will always be a part of my life because I love it, the people, the atmosphere, the coaches – all of it. But… & here’s the but. I only ever took up CrossFit to get stronger for Roller Derby. I now live in a country where there is no Roller Derby. So now I am doing CrossFit just to do CrossFit & to me that feels weird.
I miss Roller Derby a lot yes, I just put my outdoor wheels on my skates & am going to have a skate around my beautifully smooth neighbourhood, maybe I’ll brave a skatepark, but set up a league? No thanks. Been there done that, ran it for 6 years, & I know how much time, energy & dedication that takes. I am on a group which promised to be Saigon Roller Derby & so far there has been a lot of chatter, & not much else. There is no-one to lead, & I don’t want that responsibility because I know if I was to take that on as a project then I would miss out on so many other things that Vietnam has to offer & so many other things that I have not been able to do for the past 6 years.
The weather here has been great lately, we are out of rainy season, the only way to explain the way it feels is like being on holiday but having to work. It is glorious, I want to be outside all of the time. I have been paddleboarding, riding my bike all over the place, doing my garden, sewing things, planning little trips & adventures. To be frank the last place I want to be when the weather is like this is stuck in a sweaty gym. I remember all those summers we missed, whilst we were in sports halls longing to be outside & now here I am here in this amazing country with so much to see & do, so many things passed us by whilst we were at Roller Derby, or training for Roller Derby & at that time that was 100% the right thing to do, I wouldn’t change that. I have also found out that Roller Derby has given me a really good foundation for other sports. Same principals apply to so many things, so it’s been a very useful tool!!
It is actually really odd when you take such a huge part of your life away because you are so used to all these schedules & trying to fit everything around it all. I find myself writing lists & plans, then realise I don’t need to. I can do whatever I want when I want, like before the days of Roller Derby & that is so nice. Life has no attendance policy, there is noone upping their life game to bump me off the team.
So what started off with me reluctantly signing up for the open has ended up with me realising that this is yet another thing I am having to relearn. Life.
Start from Zero right 😀
So my bike came with me. The other half purchased a battered second hand 10 quid hard case from some bloke in London via the medium of Ebay. One of our friends kindly collected it en route to somewhere she was going. Wheels & a lock were installed, bike was dismantled & packed around the bike were various soft things carefully weighed to ensure we didn’t exceed the maximum (we did – very slightly – nice man at the airport let us off) weight per individual item. The remainder of the excess baggage allowance my employer gave me was used for the safe passage of my beloved Mango bike.
The case arrived in HCMC airport missing 2 wheels, but otherwise generally intact. It was far too large to put through the manual x-ray machine so instead the security checks consisted of us opening the case, the lady rummaging a bit:
lady – ‘this bike new?’
me – ‘no look at the mud on it’
lady – *giggles* ‘OK’
We do the case up & that’s it – she made it – my bike made it!
I think it was a day or so later when she was fully re-assembled and ready to go. I took her for a quick little jaunt around the block & waited for JJ’s departure until I braved proper roads, traffic etc.
In the beginning I was slightly terrified. I started off just before Tet so the traffic was massively decreased in volume, & I was beginning to gain confidence. I had progressed from little rides round the block & had decided to go to the cash machine to get the money to pay the estate agent. This was the last working day before the Tet holiday and it was busy, really busy. After trying 3 separate cash machines (they put a cap on the amount you can withdraw around Tet because of all of this crime I keep hearing about) I managed to draw out enough money & was back on the road. Lights are red so I stop; I cannot tell you what the rule is that means that at some lights people actually stop & at some they are more for decoration, fear of death perhaps? Who knows – but these lights are the proper sort, so I stopped in line with everyone else. The man behind on his scooter starts to bib & I am wondering where exactly he expects me to move to as I am sandwiched in between two other scooters with one directly in front of me, he continues with his irritating bibbing & I am not sure what inside of my brain told me it was acceptable, but I started to gently nudge the lady in front of me with my wheel, just very gently, but nudge nudge, sure enough she moved forward nudging the person in front of her & the lights changed and we were all off. Then afterwards I was thinking about it & thinking actually that’s not ok though is it? I mean if you were in a car in England, you wouldn’t just gently nudge the one in front of you would you? That’s actually really quite naughty. Now as I was having a nice ride, deep in thought, I decided to extend it (as I often do) & this was a poor decision because somewhere between dropping off the money & making this decision I gained a puncture & had to dismount to sadly walk the 4km home praying to the bicycle gods that this was just a flat somehow. I pumped up the flat tyre to find it deflated again almost immediately. A bloody puncture. What brilliant timing, everything is shut for Tet & I have no puncture repair kit…. GRRRRRRRR!!!! I feel almost certain this is somehow that bibbing assholes fault. He did it, he punctured my baby 😦
The boyfriend dutifully repaired the puncture when he arrived for the Tet break, we ordered some Gatorskins they have Kevlar in them to help protect against punctures on these somewhat treacherous roads & I did a trial run to work. That feels like a lifetime ago!!
Now I ride my bike to and from work every day. On the way to work I am yet to have a day where some idiot doesn’t cut in front of me and force me to break on the hill I dream of coasting down. On the way home I have to brave cycling into the path of oncoming traffic for a few hundred metres, which is always a bit tricky but you get used to it. I have bought myself a bunch of disposable face masks because I prefer not to have a mouth full of grit & insects. The security guard at work gets worried/upset/confused if I ever arrived not on my bike. It took around 17minutes the first few times, I can make it in 12 now, a lot of it hinges on traffic lights.
So far I have been bumped several times always in the front wheel & I find it extremely disappointing to write this, but always by women. Not one single man, & I know gender is irrelevant in this exhilarating, terrifying, semi dangerous race to & from the office, but I do feel a little let down by my fellow females. The most common bumpage is when someone cuts in front of me underestimating the pace at which I am going so have to go faster than they expected then slam their brakes on as they are cutting in & again underestimate that a bicycle wheel is considerably bigger than a scooter wheel & bump me in the wheel. Thankfully they have only been pretty gentle bumps, but I glared so hard & they knew, they could tell through my mask I was glaring.
I have started to ride to CrossFit, I am still yet to work out how to get there to avoid crossing the road of doom, which is an uber busy fast moving 4 lane road. I know there is a way to avoid it, I just haven’t sussed it out yet, it is such a challenging road to cross that when it is clear I let out an audible sigh of relief. My ride home is much less harrowing.
I have in fact started to ride to most places. HCMC is a very flat city, so riding your bike around is not particularly taxing energy wise. Being vigilant & having a grasp on how the traffic is flowing, spacial awareness & peripheral vision are things I can thank roller derby for because I have a head start on most people here & that’s what you need all of your energy for really, actually peddling is the easy part.
So ingrained into my life has cycling become that I insisted on JJ purchasing a bicycle so we could go on adventures together, we went out for a test ride, I got a bit carried away & 42km later I had to cycle the poor dying other half home, forgetting he is not used to the climate, or riding bikes for quite a long way..
It got me thinking though. 42km felt like nothing at all, it felt as though I could have gone further, I wasn’t tired. I had started to look at routes this guy ‘Dong Mad Mal’ had been posting on Endomondo of 50, 60, 70km & I felt like this wasn’t something that was completely unattainable. The morning JJ went back off to the UK this last trip I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up, got dressed into some probably quite inappropriate cycling attire, jumped on my bike & peddled. I overtook many very professional looking cyclists in fancy outfits, went past other groups sat eating their breakfast noodles in cafes, & was fascinated by this cycling subculture I knew nothing about.
I was determined to follow the path of the river, I had dreams of lush green, deserted roads & instead (so painfully obviously) I found myself in district 1, slap bang in the middle of Saigon. Peddling around trying to remember the way all the Ubers & Grabs had taken me, failing. Luckily enough it was super early so instead of the total insanity of the traffic, it was only mild chaos. I cycled round 1, 3, 8, 10 maybe not in that order, I found Ben Thanh market & managed to navigate myself back to Phu My Hung. I think that was around 30km & I suddenly thought maybe I was feeling a bit thirsty so I stopped at Annam bought some fizzy pop & water, sat down for a bit, drank them, it was hot, I must remember to drink, I thought.
I realised that I wasn’t tired or worn out just thirsty. Got back on my bike and vowed I would cycle 50km. I mean why not, it’s not so far really in the grand scheme of things. So I went straight down the big road (I know no road names here except my own – still – they are just soooo hard) keeping an eye on my Tom Tom spark, watching the KM rack up & when I got far enough that I knew I would have done the 50 on arrival home, I turned to head back, stopping off to take photo’s of waterlilies feeling pretty damn pleased with myself.
51.91km is what I actually did. I felt a little tired after that, but that could be because I had just cycled over 50km on around 3 hours sleep.
Today I went out to my employers factory. It’s a bit further than the furthest I have cycled, perhaps another 10km or so. It was only on the way back when I was watching the scenery change & noticing landmarks I remember from my cycling – the waterlilies for example, I realised that 50km is in fact quite a long way & I had managed to do that on my 3 gear road bike, with 3 hours sleep, a can of diet irn bru & a bottle of water.
Having my bicycle here is freedom. Being able to clock up distances of over 50km is the ultimate in freedom – there are a lot of other places you can get to when you start to get over the 50km mark, & that makes a lot more of Vietnam a lot more accessible. It really made me start to think. What if I plan my journey properly, get some sleep, eat some food & drink sensible drinks – where could I go? How far could I go? Cycling has never felt like a chore to me, it makes me feel like a 5 year old, big cheesy grin, I love riding my bike. I am not a brilliant bike rider, I can’t do any tricks or anything, I just like it & it’s a great mode of transport too which is a bonus. No matter what has happened in the day or how bad I feel when I wake up I jump on my bike & whizz around peddling like fury & I am cured. It’s the simplest fixer. I saw a great quote the other day which really summed it all up & I am kicking myself for not saving it but when I find it again I will put it here. For now though I am out; bedtime.
Night world x
Yes it’s me – the person that set up this blog to document my new life in this strange and exotic land. Ok yes so I am failing hard, failing hard at one of my resolutions, and that resolution was to blog once a week. I am probably failing at a few of them actually, because I over optimistically set somewhere in the realms of 10, maybe 15; not sure the list kept growing. I don’t even know where the list is. Somewhere safe I would assume. I am a terrible goal setter, because I live in this dream world where everything is open and accessible all the time, and each day is about 73 hours long. You would think at the age of 38 I would have got to grips with 24 hour days and opening times but alas no and now I live in this confusing land of opportunity and flexible rules – super perplexing as some of my dream world has become a reality. So please forgive me my friends it’s not because I have forgotten about you, it’s because I have been busy, busy living in this new world of mine. Now it’s been such a long time again and so many things have happened I don’t even know where to start.
Lets go with a quick run down yes? I have had visitors, friends, boyfriend and rather excitingly my dear mother, who after a little coaxing quickly adapted to the laid back meandering pace of leafy Phu My Hung, filling her time with pottering and lots of nice iced coffee in one of the multiple Highlands chains scattered all over the place.
Perhaps this was all a little too much for my brain and body to take because somewhere in between the end of my mothers trip & the beginning of JJ’s I got sick. Really sick. Kicking off with a horrific vertigo attack that was so extended it had me head on desk for 30 mins before finally caving and staggering out of the office to pathetically hail a taxi, abandoning my poor bicycle (under the watchful & confused eyes of the security team) and tucking myself up in bed in a dark freezing room until my worried mother arrived home to check on me. The vertigo developed into sinusitis and it felt like I had been ill for ever until the weekend just past where I began to feel almost human again.
So asides from that and this is the very abbreviated version – I have soooooooo much to tell you all – I have been riding my bike all over the place, getting braver (because the traffic right – did I mention the traffic) and more confident with every little adventure, everyone thinks I am mad, but I feel free and liberated and sometimes slightly terrified but normally this subsides into relief followed by accomplishment. I have been successfully growing things, my tomato plants now look more like trees. I took part in the CrossFit Open for the first time ever, that’s a whole other topic to write about. I have been given my own beautiful creative space at work, and here I am sat on a flight to Hong Kong on my way to a materials show with a couple of hours to spare for an update.
It has been quite the whirlwind these last 6 months. Time here seems to move so much quicker than anywhere else I have been. I don’t know if it’s because of the transient nature of the city, but it feels like people are on a quest to fit in as much as possible in case, well I guess in case they run out of time, or it changes and they miss it. It’s hard to have commitments here, regular activities, a routine; it’s very much a city of spontaneity. When people ask me if I miss my life in England and yes of course there are elements I miss, humans, cats, food, funny things you might not think about until you move to the other side of the world, but I have been busy. I haven’t spent all that much time sitting around missing things because lets face it that would neither be a sensible or productive use of my time, nor a positive way to adapt to this mad place in which I now live. That would in fact just be plain silly. So now I have given you this little update, I feel like a have broken the seal on a billion other things I need to share with you, and I shall endeavor to do so when I am not adventuring somewhere..
So I was talking to someone about my blog today to which they said ‘is it active?’ This made me feel terribly embarrassed about the neglected blog I had set up with such gusto & excitement, the blog that was to document the trials, tribulations, but mostly (from past experience) to catalogue the numerous, semi catastrophic comedy moments of adjusting to this new life… It also made me think back to my resolutions, 1 of which was blog once a week.
I had a lot of resolutions for this year. I don’t normally bother as I’m very much of the school of thought that if you’re resolute to do something then why not just bloody well do it, but as I wanted to make a fresh start, new country, new job & after years of travelling around, & feeling transient, finally a new life it seemed as good of a time as any. There is no roller derby here, & sadly I dont have the time to create, coach, run & skate roller derby, so after 6 years of doing nothing but this I have something I forgot even existed… Time. Time to start to do the things I’ve always envied other people for doing. Time to selfishly spend doing things for noone elses pleasure or gain but my own. So I did something totally out of the ordinary & I wrote 2 sets of resolutions (well more like 20 as I kept changing my mind) one set for new year & one set for lunar new year. I made a large number of them when drunk, this is no exception….
I leave work early on Monday to attempt to get this emergency cash which has gone from being an exciting adventure to a somewhat tedious. I ask my colleague if they can explain to the taxi driver where I want to go & assume after quite a long & drawn out conversation that this has been done. I think we have made it maybe 100 metres before the taxi driver turns to me saying something in Vietnamese. I have learnt quickly that this is pretty standard; I get in, say where you want to go, the driver appears to understand but what actually happens is that then I spend the trip directing using a mixture of broken Vietnamese & google maps. This journey was no different, except surprisingly I managed to navigate all the way there without any google map help. (And as a side note – apart from the time google maps tried to take me through a swamp & lake it has been pretty indispensable at helping me to get around)
I arrive at the bank go in, have no idea what I am supposed to do, thankfully a nice security man pulls a ticket out of a machine – like the kind you get on the deli counter in the supermarket, then rushes over offering it to me, whilst gesturing to sit down. I sit down with the other people waiting, there are screens that tell you which numbers are being served just like Argos I am thinking, when a woman walks in completely ignoring all of this orderly, organised, structured, somewhat British system and confidently bypasses the security guard & ticket, marching straight to the desk of her choice, with absolutely no challenge from anyone. I am sure I grumble out loud..
It takes a really long time before it gets to my number, I anxiously approach the counter & explain to the lady that I need to collect a Western Money transfer. She looks up at me & says ‘sorry’ not as a question just that one singular word – ‘sorry’ and I think oh God they don’t do it, why is she sorry, what is she sorry for, but before this has a chance to escalate to total meltdown status she has asked me for all my details.
2 forms, several photocopies and a series of questioning that would be satisfactory for the likes of MI5, and I have been ushered over to the cashier to collect my money. She comes over with me, it feels like she is keeping an eye and making sure it’s all proper and correct. Needless to say the man in front of me has drawn out what seems like BILLIONS of Dong and is counting every single note, still, I feel less anxious knowing I have made it through all of the tests and all I have to do is wait to collect my money. Soon enough it’s my turn, the machine counts out the money, she then hands it to me and asks me to count it again, I do. I put it in a bag inside a bag, and as I get up to leave she says ‘be careful….. thank you, have a nice day’ I suppose $500 of Dong is quite a lot of money to walking around with in a country where that is more than enough to survive on very comfortable for a month, I think…. and promptly walk straight into the glass door so hard that it rebounds me a good metre backwards across the bank to gasps of horror. I think I shake my head in the recoil, take a deep breathe and attempt the door again. After all of the excitement of the last few days, I am not going to let a door ruin my adventures, so I pull the handle this time, and I am FREE, free from the bank, with some money in my pocket, all of which I managed to sort out by myself with a little help from Jessica in Miami, Florida……